Married.

Lucy Stoners

Annie and I were debating whether we would each keep our own last name, or hyphenate somehow, or trade last names (hee!), or pick an entirely new last name.

The jury was out for months and months. And then we visited Davis and went to Aquarius, the big hippie new age store. (actually, the SMALL hippie new age store. which was cooler when I was growing up. but i digress.)

And they had a book on rock gardening. And I was flipping through it and I saw a little essay about, of all things, Lucy Stone.

She was the first woman (ever, supposedly. EEEVER. Or just “ever in recorded Western society in places that had patriarchal name lineage stuff recently”?) to keep her own last name after getting married. She was also a big abolitionist and suffragist, and the first woman in Massachussetts to earn a college degree. Wikipedia claims that she was known as “‘the orator’ and ‘the morning star of the woman’s rights movement’, [and] delivered a speech which sparked Susan B. Anthony to take up the cause of women’s suffrage.”

I had vaguely heard of her, because Austin used to rant quite a bit about how everyone thinks Susan B. Anthony is so GREAT but she was just doing what all these other people taught her. To listen to him, Anthony was just ripping people off! Damn that Susan B. Anthony! Damn her!!!!!!!!

And she spawned a whole tradition of other women NOT keeping their own names, strangely enough, but changing their names to hers. (The “Lucy Stoners”, which is also the name of an Indigo Girls song.) Which is what this essay was talking about. The author was musing on why she had kept her first or second husband’s name, (Schaper, pronounced “Scopper”), even though it was such a pain for people to spell and pronounce. And how she could have just taken “Stoner.”

Her conclusion was pretty much “Um… but I didn’t… so.”

But I thought this was a pretty clear sign from the universe. We are both really into stones! And look! Lucy Stone! And a whole essay on how this chick should have used it as her last name! (Obviously we weren’t about to use “Stoner.” That means something DIFFERENT now.) And then we could have the married ritual of changing names and sharing a name! Plus then I wouldn’t have to spell my name ALL THE TIME! (Only HALF the time.)

So Stone will be our married name. Eek!